today i'm writing a list.
1. i've always liked the thought of my middle name being my mother's maiden name, despite it being the boy's name of Charles (i like some boy's names on girls..james, cameron..).
as Charles it would be much like Ashley Olsen's middle name being her mother's maiden name Fuller.
Ashley Fuller Olsen.
Rachel Charles McGann.. looks better when written, sounds like a bit of an elaborate stutter when said aloud.
if i end up creating a label of clothing, i think i'd like to call it Charles Rachel. i've thought about Rachel Charles but it seems to be too closely following suit to Rodarte, the american label named after two sisters' mother's maiden name. perhaps my idea of including Charles in the name is in subconscious homage to Rodarte, Ashley O and my mother..all at once.
2. everything she forms in words has substance and weight.
(from The S)
3. thom's from South Orange, and has only had an 'h' in his name for the past two months.
4. today, i'm going to go finally looking for a nice grey nailpolish, and perhaps also a muted turquoise-green shade similar to the one that Chanel released a little while ago.
i'd like to find a lipstick or a tinted something..not too glossy or straight gloss, i've always been a bit squinty-eyed towards lipgloss..it can look cheap so easily.
but in moderation can also look fantastic..it's fine line that i dont really want to tiptoe across or down so instead just stay far away from.
5. i much prefer any serious conversation that you can learn from over the funniest, most hilarious conversation that anyone in the world or my future/past self has ever experienced.
i'm definitely not going to turn down some great humour, but i always enjoy a chat that you can think about for days and days afterward.
6. i've been really envying and admiring girls with short hair lately. in Eumumdi and on the coast i was tricked into being surrounded by a lot of trend-ai people that had such a laidback, summery atmosphere about them. a lot of girls were sporting loose dresses with flats, some scattered jewellery or a slouchy bag and most importantly; tiny tiny pixie cuts.
it made me miss the days of having short hair two to three years ago. not a bob, but the really short stage. i could get ready so quickly bc it looked okay having just woken up and left it as it was..on the average day.
i felt really transformed and confident within my hair..occasionally, i admit that i would feel a little self-conscious bc i was one of the only girls under 40 in a school of 1500+ with short short hair, but that in itself seemed to spark more confidence than not.
i can't describe the feeling, but the length of my hair really changed my personality and inner self-assurance for a little bit, and i'd like some of that back..i think that, most of all, i felt..different.
i don't at all strive to be different and intentionally jump on any ~'alternative'/'individual'/'i listen to triple j along with half of the nation but i'm one of a kind and you know it' bandwagon, but i like the feel of having created something fresh.
i'm not going to be cutting my hair short again for a long time, but i wonder if a change of colour will bring on a similar feeling again ?
i'm willing to try.
7. 'particle physicist..dumb bastard.' - grrrreg, who makes up words while completing crosswords and married the woman who was once on television in a self-made dress as a finalist in the Girl in a Million quest. just sayin.
8. i get shy around bullshit.
9. BEWARE! not all potatoes can swim.
10. (i miss him so much i can barely breathe.)